Ok, I was looking at my 20 year old Casio CTK-1000 and wishing I could find the instruction manual to figure out some of its complicated settings. There's no manual online anywhere except for a shoddy scan for which someone is charging $5.00. I'd rather keep looking than do that! However, during a moment of levity while taking out my dog I jotted down this description (totally made up) of what could be the worst keyboard ever made, and did so in a way that the marketers would probably spin its...ahem...features. So here it is, and (unfortunately) you cannot find it in stores as it only exists in my imagination:
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One-of-a-kind full-size musical keyboard specs :
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The Casserole CA-KA-2 has:
- 61 full-size keys with exciting blue and yellow coloring instead of boring black and white
- Large 2" (5.1 cm) speakers
- Advanced tone generator with 3 built-in instrument sounds selectable with a screwdriver: hand crank organ (sorry monkey and tin cup not included), banjo for authentic country sound, & space warp (sounds like a buzz followed by a sharp pop). Two accompaniment rhythms: swing and slow dance, with 2 tempo settings, fast (about 300 beats per minute +/- 15% dependent on ambient temperature) and normal (about 20 bpm +/- 15% depending on ambient temperature).
- Advanced drum sounds generated by amplifier noise include low hiss, high hiss and power line hum (for bass).
- 2 note polyphonic for rich sound: just hold the first note then using a toothpick press and hold the "poly" button located on the underside for a random second sound that will play at the same time for 10 seconds! Bright yellow LED power indicator shines directly in player's eyes to assure the power is on. Auto power off after 1 1/2 minutes to save electricity (regardless of whether or not instrument is being played)-- to reset simply unplug for 30 seconds and plug back in.
- For the real electronic/computer music enthusiast, it includes a computer interface: simply balance any laptop on the keyboard for easily browsing the web on the laptop while playing the keyboard. (To do this simply pry off the music stand with a screwdriver. Reinstalling music stand is simple using commonly available super glue.)
- Volume control on rear easily adjusted using screwdriver. Headphones can be plugged in with optional adapter (available for $19.95+$40 shipping directly from manufacturer--please allow 8-15 weeks for delivery). Please note that only the loudest volume level is available through the headphones.
- Packing material doubles as a dust cover.
- Optional stand is $200 + $600 shipping due to freight charges. Please allow 26-80 weeks for delivery.
- Ideal for professionals and hobbyists of all ages!
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